Monday, 7 March 2011

#1: Surreal The Scumbag

So finally, I managed to get myself and the Loon in the right frame of mind to do the first audio blog. Time constraints meant we could only speak on it for 15 minutes so we didn't manage to get everything out there and I felt it was a little bit rushed, but you get the general message and if you want full details, you can read the original blog post which I'll put beneath it. So without any gilding the lily and without any more adieu, here it is:



As some of you may know, I frequent an infohub on Second Life called Bear, it's where I gained the reputation of such an evil person (That's a story for a different time but a story that will be told.). Surreal was somewhat of the alpha male of Bear, him and his band of goons would attack and bully others who weren't considered inside of their inner circle, playground bully mentality really. 
That was, until one day, this 18 year old Scouser came into Bear, who had a huge mouth and knew how to get under peoples skins. Of course, that Scouser was me. Surreal didn't like the idea of someone trying to upstage him and tried several methods of trying to bully and attack me, such as making all of his little friends 'laugh' me out of bear (by make them laugh, I mean ramble a terribly poor insult before having several of his friends supposedly scream 'LOL', 'LMAO', 'ROFL' on local chat, although no one ever heard them.). Anyway, I digress, point is, Surreal didn't like me, not one bit, cause he felt threatened by me. Imagine that, a 30-something year old man feeling threatened by an 18 year old. 

How did I get to him? I have a nice little method I like to use on people, I jab at stuff. Have you ever wet toilet paper then threw it at a wall? That's what I do with my insults, I spout out a bunch and whatever sticks the wall, I dive allover it like a great white shark. What was Surreal's insecurity? It was easy actually, he feared being betrayed (Which is hilarious seeing as 9/10 infohubs consist of two-faced people who'll stab you in the back for a juicy bit of drama.). I told Surreal that his friends would soon stab him in the back, I asked him how it felt to be surrounded by two faced cumbuckets. He would always try to keep a calm and cool composure but it got to him, people who knew him told me it got to him. But then something funny happened:

[2010/09/27 12:13]  Surreal Skytower: I saw you at Bear. I care for you Callum, this is true. BUt, I will say one thing. You were totally right. Kitten did stab me in the back
[2010/09/27 12:14]  Surreal Skytower: I dont careLOL
[2010/09/27 12:14]  Surreal Skytower: Not care

Apparently, Surreal cares for me, whatever that means. Y'see, for all of you sitting there doubting me, I'm always right, I just have something most of you don't have, patience. :p

So with that, Surreal started acting cool, by this time, I'd KINDA got with my girlfriend (again, a story for another time.) and Surreal's gang didn't like this at all, me and Lyric weren't even together yet but they announced that to speak to Lyric would be a form of social death. Why? Because she was falsely with me. Maturity is high in Bear, no, seriously. Surreal was at the forefront of this movement, yet previously he had claimed that he didn't have a problem with her and liked her to a certain extent. 

It was at this point that Surreal reared his ugly head, one day, Lyric was offline and I was arguing once again with Surreal, laughing at him and his insecurities so, in classic desperate mentality, can anyone guess what Surreal did? He knew he couldn't get to me, so he called Lyric, one of the nicest people in the infohub, a cunt, no reason other than that he thought he could get to me through her. What a classy guy. 

So naturally, I manipulated the dirty little weasel, I made him feel terrible for what he said about Lyric, I made him feel disgusted. I should add that Lyric wasn't at all upset at Surreal, she found it rather funny that he was acting so two-faced. But regardless, I got Surreal to openly on mic to apologize to Lyric, who had to contain herself from laughing at him. So at this point, people were coming to the conclusion that Mr. Skytower had a littttle bit of an anger problem and a problem with women.

While all this had been happening, the failure known as Harrison Digfoot was engaged in online guerilla warfare with Surreal, with them each screaming insults back and forth. Surreal's were that Harrison was fat and that he was a lower class citizen because he's from Georgia. Harrison's were that Surreal E-Cheats on his real life girlfriend on Second Life with a woman named Anya. It made for some funny evenings in Bear.

Now as far as Harrison goes, he'll get his soon enough on this Blog, but I'll leave him alone for now. After all, he is pretty harmless. Surreal on the other hand, was about to reveal just how low he would go to 'own' someone online. 

One night, the regulars (aka. Surreal's gang of cronies), myself, Lyric and a few other people were in Bear when Harrison and Surreal came to blows, the usual drama ensued, Harrison's accent was mocked, Surreal's relationship was mocked. But then, things took a disgusting turn, to this point, no one knew much about Surreal's real life apart from the fact that he claims to own a gym, so anabolic steroids were probably involved in his development which probably lead to the anger issues, digressing again, let's get back on topic. Today, everyone in Bear was horrified when, in the midst of Harrison roaring things such as 'Does your little girlfriend know you jack off in that computer chair and you've probably came all over it!', Surreal dragged his 11 year old daughter away from her toys and puts the headset on her head, letting her hear everything Harrison was saying. Of course, with the kid being 11, she had no idea how to react, it's not like she knows that her Dad is an insecure, pathetic little manwhore on Second Life. So what did she shout out? Something that tugged at even someone with a hard composure like myself's heart strings; 'My daddy loves my mommy and me and my sister very much! Why would he need to come on here to get a girlfriend?' - That kid doesn't even know how relevant her question was, afterall, why does anyone who gets 'RL pussy' need to come on Second Life to feel wanted? Dumbfounds me. 

So to cut an extremely long story a little bit shorter, among finding out that he had two daughters, Surreal revealed that his real life girlfriend pretty much does everything for him, proving that he's an even lower piece of dirt than even imagined. 

Why did what he did get to me? Everyone should be able to relate to this. We were all kids once and some people reading this will probably have had children. Imagine being dragged from your toys to have a microphone forced onto your head and to hear that your Dad cheats on your Mum. What type of human would do that? A vile, disgusting human. Surreal Skytower.

Shortly after the child incident, Surreal disappeared from Bear for a few months, recently came back and told Lyric, and whoever would listen, that he'd changed because he realized what he did was wrong and that he was becoming abusive to his girlfriend and children. Yep, that's right, he was abusing his family because of Second Life. Slime ball. Scumbag. Dirt. Of course, he hadn't changed, not at all, because I arrived on the scene and I said 'Well look who it is...' to which he responded 'Ah, Callum, see you haven't changed.' then preceded to mute me. Of course, Surreal can only attack women, so what came next? he said 'Oh and when is Lyric going to shut her mouth and shut her legs' then went on to attack another woman's appearance, hoping to pluck at the insecurities of women.

In conclusion of this amazingly long post, Surreal is the only person who has gotten a rise out of me, not because of something he said to me, but because of what he did. He had to dig as low at to allow his daughter to be attacked by someone without morals to get to me. Good job Surreal, you win. Scumbag.

If you have managed to read all of this, I thank you and if you enjoyed this, I look forward to sharing more tales with you in the future. 

Until next time...
... Bye...
... I love you...
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